I have no clue what to put here.
Perhaps some sort of rotating quote.
Dunno.

But those guys to the right...they're snorkeling off of Rum Point,
on Grand Cayman. You owe it to yourself to check that place out.



1.14.2021

2021 -- Here we are, now. Entertain us.

It feels like 2021 could possibly out-awful its predecessor year. At least in the short-term. I don't know how to put into words how unbelievable (yet, sadly, believable) the past week has been. Covid deaths have barely made news. Now the top story is insurrection.


I don't even quite know how to discuss any of this, other than to post news footage.

Yesterday Trump was impeached for the 2nd time. The only president (I cringe using that term in reference to the individual in question) to have received more than one impeachment. We still have nearly 6 days until Biden (and VP Kamala Harris) takes office. Every day seems endless and terrifying. There are threats of organized violence on all 50 state capitols. We've heard increased gunfire at a nearby shooting range. My anxiety is off the charts.

Thus far the only bright side of this year is that my CT scan of a month ago was all-clear. And we're on 2-3 Covid vaccine waiting lists, apiece.

12.06.2020

Scanxiety's in the Hizzouse!!

Uhhh...so it's been nearly 2 months since I last put random musings to...paper...?

Oh, hey, the cheeto freak is getting evicted from the White House in <6 weeks (and I was glued to MSNBC for the better part of a week as the mail-in ballots gradually were counted and it became increasingly clear that there's a legit at the end of our nation's tunnel). Though he's still fundraising, because he owes many millions of dollars to unknown debtors. And, also, he's going to have a shit-ton of legal expenses dogging him from the moment he's out of our house.

Tomorrow starts 11 days of gnawing my nails. Not the 12 days of Christmas, but the 11 days of having to remind myself to stop holding my breath (except when someone in my vicinity coughs or sneezes or simply looks at me wrong).

Tomorrow I go in for a routine infusion port flush and blood work, then I'll run to the pharmacy at the medical building where I will have my CT scan later on the week to pick up 2 bottles of Readi-Cat "smoothie" contrast drink. It only resembles a smoothie in appearance. That's pretty much where the similarities end. Pro-tip: I add a squirt or two of sugar-free water-flavoring concentrate because this shit does NOT taste like citrus or berries or any other claimed flavor. It tastes like chalk mixed with white finger paints.

At some point in the week I will also pick up an allergy cocktail from my regular pharamacy that I have to take starting 13 hours before my CT scan. Because iodine and I apparently are incompatible. Though I have not found that this prednisone/benadryl recipe does much. I still get the exact same 2 predictable hives on my forehead...EVERY time.

On Thurs. I will see my colorectal surgeon for a yearly follow-up. I hope we just chat. I'm even fine with a lecture about my noticeable weight gain (in the neighborhood of 30# since he last saw me). I just don't want a digital exam. But I'm sure that will happen, because he's a colorectal surgeon and I had a tumor in my ass...so....

Friday, CT scan. Aside from drinking sludge, that's not a horrible procedure. It's mostly the constipation that invariably follows that really sucks. Some people get diarrhea. I think I'd almost rather have that issue. I need to be better about chugging a lot of liquid to move things through, faster. Nasty stuff to have lingering in my guts for longer than necessary.

And...then a 6 day wait for those results. Fuckery.

Covid is really bad, here. Hospitals within about 2 hours are all at capacity. We're still unscathed. For now. I get some serious anxiety about my essential worker kid working in the thick of risk during the holiday shopping season. 

Nest Bedding Hybrid Latex
On the bright side, we got a new bed and I am sleeping better than I have in years. Maybe in my entire life. It's a Nest Hybrid Latex bed. My brother's SIL recommended it. Theirs is all firm. Ours is half firm, half med. It's kinda nifty. The top zips off to reveal 2 3" thick slabs of natural latex (the yellow layer, at right). Below that are traditional pocketed coils. It's a king sized bed for about half what we paid for our ridiculous 18" deep queen mattress that didn't really last us more than probably 6 years (at most) before I started having neck and shoulder issues. And now we won't be limited by only extra deep pocket bedding. AND I no longer need a step to get in an out of the bed. I'd taken to using an old aerobic step for the purpose. It was especially miserable after cancer-related surgeries and on mornings when I will wake with vertigo (thanks, chronic allergies!).

And DH finally admits that we should have had a king sized bed, all along. Part of my sleeping so much better is that I don't feel crowded. He's broad-shouldered and barrel-chested + we have a 18-20# cat that likes to sleep with us. Now there is room for him to sleep between us without nearly pushing me out of the bed. Happy wife, happy life!

Bonus: when the latex layers wear out, we can simply buy new layers. The layers that get tossed are completely biodegradeable. Less to land in a landfill. And I'm emotionally handling all the scary shit in the world and recovering better from my workouts. My runs are still sad and include walk breaks, but that's mostly because I'm pretty much the fattest I've ever been as a runner AND I'm down at least 20% in my lung capacity (thanks, Cancer!).

On a related note -- 2 potential Covid vaccines are on the way! It may be another month or two before I might have a shot at one. Now we just have to get through the holidays with people making really terrible, selfish, willfully ignorant choices that lead to harming others....

10.18.2020

16 more days.

Democracy!
Earlier this week my 19 year old son and I voted absentee for the first time ever in a major election (we voted absentee in our primary, but that didn't feel nearly as crucial as these ballots cast. We didn't even physically drop off our ballots for the primary. The hubby dropped them off while paying a utility bill. DH is still sitting on his ballot). This was my son's first presidential election. I believe he is well aware of how exceptionally critical his vote is. I was also 19 when I voted for the first time for Bill Clinton. I don't recall feeling any sort of anxiety. I simply voted for the candidate whose platform most closely matched my interests.

But this...this is so vastly different. This is literally life-or-death. Trump has enabled the spread of deadly pandemic and has 0 plans to protect US citizens. He has nominated a woman for SCOTUS who would rob women of reproductive health care, in addition to undoing the Affordable Care Act. With her addition to the SCOTUS, same sex marriage will likely be defeated and protections for LGBTQ individuals would also be struck-down.

Yesterday there was a Trump rally 20 minutes from our front door. Photos and video of the crowds and hearing Trump again encourage the audience to "lock her up" towards our governor...gave me incredible anxiety. It's only been about a week before it was made public that the FBI had infiltrated a homegrown terrorist cell (aka "militia") with plans to kidnap, rape, and murder her.


Fxck Cancer!