COVID-19. Pretty sure this is a synonym for Hell. Here were are, trapped in our homes (assuming we're not the assholes shirking recommendations to remain sequestered from others). Yesterday I went out for what I was hoping would be a soothing 5 mile run in the sunshine. Instead I returned irritated by the sheer # of people suddenly taking to the outdoors. I know I shouldn't gripe about the ones who were being responsible and simply enjoying walking/running/cycling solo, in pairs, or as families. But I ran through a nearby park and a group of about 20 teenage boys playing football left me so enraged and sad and scared.
In the pre-Coronavirus world, the same sight would have left me thrilled. Kids setting down the phones, tablets, and game controllers to be active and social. But, for now, it's entirely irresponsible. Nearly as irresponsible as the people packing bars and restaurants. As a result, in <1 hour our governor (MI) has declared these establishments all close to general business. Only take-out and delivery will be permitted. I'm so thankful for her relatively speedy response to the pandemic.
The horrors of the past 3 years under Trump have only been amplified. It feels like a new piece of evidence of his selfish mismanagement is coming to light every day. His sycophants are unswayed. It's clear that nothing will change on this front. I'm not even certain that losing friends and family members would smack any sense into these people if nothing else in the past 3 years has. So many still believe this is a hoax and are behaving irresponsibly to "own the libs."
I minored in Sociology. Never before has the concept of "American exceptionalism" been so starkly demonstrated. A shocking number of comments I've read in the past 3 days state that we're somehow different from the rest of the world. As if our immune systems are superior to the immune systems of members of our species in other industrialized nations. Fuck, our healthcare is inferior to every one of our peers. Wake up, assholes!
I am pretty much constantly numb with terror. In many ways this is far worse than the early days of my Cancer diagnosis. At least then I felt reasonably confident in my oncologist's reassurances that he could "cure" me. Now there is no one able to offer similar soothing words. We're all flying blind. I have so many risk factors. Just 1 would be unnerving, for certain. But asthma on top of a missing lung lobe on top of damage to my immune system from chemo that ended >2 years ago... The only things in my favor are age (47) and aerobic fitness. Reading the medical accounts of what this virus can do to even healthy lungs leaves me quite literally breathless.
Selfishly I mourn the fact that my entire 2020 race season will likely be cancelled. This was to be my first full race season since my cancer diagnosis 3 years ago. My beautiful new tri bike may not see the light of day, this year...or at least not in competition. 2/3 races I've paid for will likely not offer refunds. 1 will only be refunded because I paid for available race insurance. I wish all races offered insurance coverage. DH and I joined Fxck Cancer Endurance Club (link below) to raise money for cancer screenings and support. Our kits may go unworn, but we'll still raise money. This viral menace makes that all the more necessary.
We'll almost certainly be cancelling a family trip in May. Until life is more certain and DH is able to return to work, my vivarium will remain frogless (nervous energy will have some killer-looking plants and isopoda, though!). If even one of us were to land in the hospital, then daily feedings wouldn't likely be possible.
My upcoming mammogram and dental cleaning will be postponed. After 5 years of allergy shots, I will be discontinuing my monthly maintenance injections. The risk inherent in keeping these appointments outweighs any benefits.
I remain cautiously hopeful that life will go on, but I don't think it's going to be in 2 weeks. Probably not even in 2 months. My son's community college (as well as every other college/university in the state) cancelled classes through early April. It's almost certain they won't be returning to classes this school year. Public schools have followed suit. College and HS seniors are faced with not being able to graduate after years of hard work.
It's no hyperbole to say that I feel like I've aged a decade in 3 years time.
